1, 2 Buckle My Shoe

I bet you remember how old your child was when they first said mama, or dada, or I love you. I bet you remember how old your child was when they first learn to ride their bike without the training wheels. I bet you remember how old your child was when they first learned to button their shirt or tie their shoes. I also am willing to bet that the ages of 1,2,3,4,5 and maybe even 6 or 7 are coming up in your mind as you think back to all of those amazing firsts for your children. Mine does too...for 3 of my children. Not so much for my oldest son. Most of those things didn't happen until 4 years old or later.

Today, Garrison is exactly 12 years 9 months, and 12 days old. Today, he tied his shoes for the very first time. I cry as I even type it out. This will go down as one of the greatest days of my life. Garrison tied his shoes today!!!! Wow!!! So huge for us! Garrison will go up to a perfect stranger before he will tie his own shoes. It has been a goal of his on several IEP's and a goal of ours for a very long time. Years even. It has always been one of those things that "all of the other kids could do" that I worried my son never would be able to.

When Garrison was diagnosed with Autism, he was 4. The team of 11 physicians who sat before us very wisely said, "You will not have the same hopes and dreams for Garrison that you will have with your other children. Your hopes and dreams for him will be very simple to some but as he achieves those, the reward will be all the sweeter." They were right. For our daughters we see them going to college, getting married, having successful career's and just being great women through and through. We want them to always get good grades, learn to play an instrument, be on the dean's list, be good wives and good mothers, be good examples of Jesus Christ, treat others with kindness and respect, oh and keep their rooms clean. For Garrison, we hope that one day he will be able to have any job of any kind. We hope he will be able to go to the store and understand how to pay for something. We hope he will be able to understand that $10 is a lot more than $1. We hope he will be able to shower every day and remember to wash his hair without being reminded. We hope he will be able to use the bathroom without needing help. We hope that he will always have a sibling to take care of him after we are gone. You see, our hopes and dreams are dramatically different.

Of course we want Garrison to become all that he is capable of being. Of course we want to set goals for him that will challenge him and make him into a strong and independent young man. We have set those goals. And you know what?? He achieved one of those goals today!

Please note that he is not very happy about this new learned skill. In fact, very much the opposite. When I walked in the door tonight, I asked him about it and he argued with me for 10 minutes about how it "made him feel too boring" or "he is too tired to tie his shoes". He broke down crying while telling me "stop telling me I will tie my own shoes. That is not OK." I don't know why he isn't happy. He never is when he hits a milestone like that. He is angry at me that I wont tie them for him tomorrow. Even as I sit and type this, he is running back and forth behind me over and over and over all the while he has his headphones on and is making his repetitive noises that we are so familiar with. He is going extra fast tonight because he is upset. I have managed to mess up his whole night now. He may do this for hours just to get his over-stimulated self to calm down.

I however will remain on cloud nine for the next hours, if not days, because MY SON TIED HIS SHOES TODAY!!!!