How can such a beautiful little girl be such a little stinker? How can someone who brings such joy to my life every single day also drive me absolultey crazy?? That is my Natalie..or Naddie, or bubbas, or bo-bo's. (Depending on our mood at the time)
I remember a post from about 3 1/2 years ago where I, and our doctors, were VERY concerned that my little girl was autistic. Reading that post back now, the emotions come flooding back. As parents, it was a very, very dark time for Buddy and I. We cried a lot, we hoped a lot, we lost a lot of sleep and we prayed every waking minute that it would not be so. For those who do not have an autistic child, it is difficult for you to understand what we had already been through.
Our son, Garrison, went from being a fairly normal child (he had a few quirks) to a child who could no longer talk, would throw HUGE temper tantrums and slam his head against our wooden front door. Watching your child disappear like that is beyond heart-wrenching. There are no words that will even come close to describing it. It makes you feel helpless and hopeless. The thought of having to go through that all over again with my beautiful baby girl was almost more than I could bare. *(This is the point in the story where I would like to place my disclaimer)*We love our son beyond words. However, watching your child "never grow up" mentally or be so severely challenged in every aspect of his/her life...well, I can't even describe how that feels. The thought of having to watch another child suffer like that, again , I cannot even describe it.
Well, now that time has passed, I can say that even though Natalie does have many quirks about her, some even very similar to her brothers, I firmly believe the choices we made (which will not be discussed on this blog) in our daughters behalf, helped us to keep her from falling into that world. Every choice we made was preceded by countless prayers and fasting. Instead of autism we have a very "special" girl.
Don't get me wrong. She is such a joy and I love her dearly but holy smokes! She is SO different than her siblings. I guess a lot of things may factor into that. She is the youngest, therefore she is crazy spoiled by every person in this household. She is also very stubborn. (I have no idea who she gets that from!) She tries and tries my patience. But boy when she is cute, she is SO cute! I tell people all of the time that God made her so beautiful because it compensates for her orneriness. I also say that she is my father's revenge for all of the diva attitude I gave him and my mom during my junior high and beginning of high school years. I can just see him up there laughing up a storm watching me with her.
She says some of the funniest things like "Mom, stop singing! You're hurting my feet" and "I'm not a stinker, I am a sweeter!" (she stole that last one from her brother who also says it all of the time.) She loves her pink sprite from Sonic (again, I wonder where she gets that) and asks me to "text grandma and tell her I want a lala loopsy doll for Christmas." She loves to bring her small Book of Mormon to church each Sunday and raises it up high and sings "Scripture Power" in primary. That cute little act however, is quickly followed by a complete meltdown that ends in the teachers having to come and pull us out of class because she is so out of control.
How will I ever survive her? Well, I look at how close I was to watching another child disappear into the abyss of Autism, then I thank my Heavenly Father for this beautiful, however ornery, girl.
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