Love Prevails

A lot has happened since my last post..I have completed one 5K and one 4 mile Turkey Trot. I ran both of those with Kimbo and cannot even begin to tell you how rewarding and amazing they both were. Last year while we were in San Antonio for Thanksgiving, Buddy and Kimbo ran the Turkey Trot and I promised both of them that come hell or high water, I would run with them in 2012..well, as it turns out, Hell did indeed come and I still ran it with my Kimbo while Rachel and Aunt Susie walked. It was incredible!

Thanksgiving was hard..There is no question about that. However, we were blessed to share it with Buddy's mom and dad who mean the world to me. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have such amazing in-laws who love and support me so much. Of course we were at Susie's house and her daughters Amy (along with her husband J.R. and their sweet son Max), and Erin all joined us throughout our visit there. It was a wonderful trip filled with 2 trips to Sea World, 1 trip to Morgan's Wonderland and lots of shopping!

Everyone of us all wore our Buddy Run shirts on Thanksgiving. It was very special and helped us feel his presence there.

Since we got home from our little vacation a few hiccups have occurred but nothing we cannot handle.  I've had some very serious health insurance issues that have caused so much stress but I am trying to have faith that the Lord will provide.  I continue to run almost every day and keep my chin up.

I have had a few very spiritual conversations with Buddy that I of course, will not share here but they have been very healing and made me realize that the time to move forward (not a fan of the term moving on because really? How does one "move on" after something like this) is now and Buddy truly wants me to find happiness.  I am working on that. I am enduring and trying my very best to help my children do the same.

As we face these next few weeks, we will stumble upon some hard days. December 13, will mark my 15th wedding anniversary. Followed, of course, by Christmas. It is going to be a doozy of a month but I am determined to push through and survive yet 2 more firsts.This is not to say there will not be tears. I assure you they will flow like crazy but that is ok. That is necessary. However, I also know that he is near and will help us get through.

The thought of him not being here to help me put presents under the tree on Christmas eve, or to help me make our traditional HUGE Christmas breakfast (we don't do a big Christmas dinner, just a massive breakfast), or watch the kids open their presents...that is a lot to swallow. However, my favorite moment every Christmas was Christmas eve, after the children were in bed and we had finished putting all of the Christmas presents under the tree..we would sit on our bed and exchange stockings..it is something we have done from the beginning.  It truly was our favorite part of the Christmas holiday. Sometimes we filled them with silly stuff, sometimes it was sentimental but it was always something we both looked forward to.  Every year, he gave me a bottle of Pepsi, Gum, mints and a lottery ticket. Every single year those were included. I will so miss doing that this year. But I will create new traditions..eventually.

So, we will continue to move forward (not on) and cry our tears and smile our smiles. But through it all, we will remember how blessed we were and are to have love in our home and  the love of an amazing dad and husband. We love you Buddy!