So proud of my Kimbo

So Kimbo ended the school year with a broken arm..from March until the middle of June, she was in a cast on her right arm (and she is right handed). That held her back in more ways that I can tell you academically. I thought everything was fine until this school year started..when she left the 1st grade, I was told she was reading on a level 18. When she started 2nd grade, she was at a reading level of 11. I was so confused. We read like crazy over the summer. We went to the library every week. It didn't make sense. What I figure happened was this..Her first grade teacher was always raving about how brilliant she was and how way far advanced she was. So, along comes the broken arm and her teacher just let her do whatever. She had told me that she got to play the computer a lot while the kids were testing and stuff (because she couldn't write) but I never thought there was a problem because she was pulling straight A's and again, I was hearing that she was so far advanced, I never really thought to be concerned.

Well, she starts her second grade year dramatically behind. She was so sad and I was so mad. But, thankfully she has an AWESOME teacher (two of them actually) who have worked with her and pushed her and praised her so now she is on a reading level of 20. She has to be at a 30 by the end of the year. I just know she can do it.

I got her report card today..straight A's. This is not the first time for her..in fact she has only ever gotten one B and that was the first quarter of this year and it was in reading. She went from a 86 in the first 6 weeks to a 90 the second 6 weeks to a 96 today!!! I wanted to cry! I am so proud I could just burst!! Kimbo has worked and worked and worked on her reading. Now her handwriting leaves a lot to be desired. I cannot read one darn thing that girl writes but we will get there! She is my little rockstar!!!!

Whose judging who?

So Buddy says that Facebook killed my blog and to some extent, he is right. But the thing about a blog is that it is an awful lot like a journal. That has good and bad things about it...The good is obvious..I have a journal that I can print out and keep for my children for years and years to come. The bad thing is that I need to sit down and just do it. I can say I don't have time (which is a very valid argument at this point in my life) but I am also lazy. Part of me doesn't want to write all of my life down for everyone to read. I am a very open person in one sense but also a painfully private person. I don't like my faults exposed. I constantly want everyone to think I am holding together beautifully and that nothing can get me down. Well, that's not true and we all know it.

One of my biggest complaints about women is that we are constantly judging ourselves and others. Who has better make-up? Who has better clothes? Whose house is cleaner? Whose children behave better? Who is a better mom? Whose car is cleaner? Who has a nicer car? It is exhausting for everyone involved. Why do we hold ourselves to standards that are not even attainable? It makes no sense to me. I am 100% guilty of it. Probably worse than most women. I drive myself crazy with it..

I hate that I can go and clean others homes and do an AMAZING job but then come home to a filthy mess! I get embarrassed every day when I go to pick my kids up and the teachers see the inside of my van. It is a disaster and that is not the person that I am. I am not a slob.. I love my car and my house to be clean but I get sick of doing it alone. I feel like nobody helps me do anything. Why is it that everyone expects mom to do it all? I am working 3 jobs (selling my jewelry, working at the YMCA and cleaning houses) and I am expected to cook, clean, help with homework, take care of problems at the school (mostly Garrison issues),do my church calling, have a clean car and look amazing while doing it all. Or am I? Do people really expect that or is it all in my head?

My husband is phenomenal. He offers every night to come home from work and cook dinner himself and yet I feel awful if I let him..that is my job. He has busted his butt at work all day so I try really, really hard to have a good dinner for him. Every single Saturday, he cleans. He would probably love to just sit and watch football but he is cleaning. (granted football may be on in the background) So who is it that I am feeling pressure from? Myself probably..society for sure but I think we do a lot of it to each other. It's OK to admit that you are not super woman. It's OK to go to walmart in your sweats or heaven forbid with no makeup on. It's OK to walk into someones house and see an inch of dust on their piano or TV. It's OK people. In the long run is that what is important? Would it be nice to always have a clean house? Heck ya but I don't. I am sure there will come a day when my world will run much more smoothly..when I feel like I have it all together. Maybe not but let's stop judging each other and just realize that we are all trying very hard to make it through each day without losing our minds.