Whose judging who?

So Buddy says that Facebook killed my blog and to some extent, he is right. But the thing about a blog is that it is an awful lot like a journal. That has good and bad things about it...The good is obvious..I have a journal that I can print out and keep for my children for years and years to come. The bad thing is that I need to sit down and just do it. I can say I don't have time (which is a very valid argument at this point in my life) but I am also lazy. Part of me doesn't want to write all of my life down for everyone to read. I am a very open person in one sense but also a painfully private person. I don't like my faults exposed. I constantly want everyone to think I am holding together beautifully and that nothing can get me down. Well, that's not true and we all know it.

One of my biggest complaints about women is that we are constantly judging ourselves and others. Who has better make-up? Who has better clothes? Whose house is cleaner? Whose children behave better? Who is a better mom? Whose car is cleaner? Who has a nicer car? It is exhausting for everyone involved. Why do we hold ourselves to standards that are not even attainable? It makes no sense to me. I am 100% guilty of it. Probably worse than most women. I drive myself crazy with it..

I hate that I can go and clean others homes and do an AMAZING job but then come home to a filthy mess! I get embarrassed every day when I go to pick my kids up and the teachers see the inside of my van. It is a disaster and that is not the person that I am. I am not a slob.. I love my car and my house to be clean but I get sick of doing it alone. I feel like nobody helps me do anything. Why is it that everyone expects mom to do it all? I am working 3 jobs (selling my jewelry, working at the YMCA and cleaning houses) and I am expected to cook, clean, help with homework, take care of problems at the school (mostly Garrison issues),do my church calling, have a clean car and look amazing while doing it all. Or am I? Do people really expect that or is it all in my head?

My husband is phenomenal. He offers every night to come home from work and cook dinner himself and yet I feel awful if I let him..that is my job. He has busted his butt at work all day so I try really, really hard to have a good dinner for him. Every single Saturday, he cleans. He would probably love to just sit and watch football but he is cleaning. (granted football may be on in the background) So who is it that I am feeling pressure from? Myself probably..society for sure but I think we do a lot of it to each other. It's OK to admit that you are not super woman. It's OK to go to walmart in your sweats or heaven forbid with no makeup on. It's OK to walk into someones house and see an inch of dust on their piano or TV. It's OK people. In the long run is that what is important? Would it be nice to always have a clean house? Heck ya but I don't. I am sure there will come a day when my world will run much more smoothly..when I feel like I have it all together. Maybe not but let's stop judging each other and just realize that we are all trying very hard to make it through each day without losing our minds.