Are You Kidding Me?????

It is no secret that since I moved to Albuquerque, I have struggled. I am not happy here and spend more time crying and sad than I do with a smile on my face. One of my new years resolutions was to try and help myself before I lost my mind; literally. So I made some very personal commitments that each involve bettering myself physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually.

Every April and October Buddy and I DVR each session of conference so that we can watch it throughout the next 6 months until the following session. Well just this morning, I was listening to Elder Wirthlin's talk "Come What May, and Love It." It is a beautiful talk that brings tears to my eyes each time I listen to it or read it (In the Ensign). Well, if you haven't heard it, it talks about smiling and laughing your way through life; don't take things so seriously. Life is too short to get mad over everything.

Today has not been a good day. I won't get into a lot of details but it just seemed to be one thing right after another. Tonight, I left the kids with Buddy and went to do some shopping at Walmart. Those of you who don't know, New Mexico is home to some of the rudest people on this planet. That is not a secret. The rudeness of people here never ceases to amaze me. Tonight was the ultimate. I was in line to check out and started putting my groceries onto the conveyer belt when this couple walks up and just starts putting their stuff on at the exact same time right behind me. I wasn't even done putting my stuff on. I had a ton of stuff left. They didn't put a divider down or anything. I turn around and say "Are you kidding me?" They completely ignore me and just keep going. So I take about 5000 deep breaths and grab a divider to at least seperate our things (I had to push some of their things back just to make room). I am thinking "where in the heck am I supposed to put the rest of my stuff?" I litterally have no room. So, I scoop up the several items still in my cart into my arms and have to hand each item to the cashier. I was blown away. Now those who know me well, know that I don't handle rudeness very well. Normally I would have caused a big ole scene and probably have made myself look just as stupid as them. I thought of Elder Wirthlins talk and how it just wouldn't be worth it. So I bit my tounge (I wont be able to talk for days I bit so hard) and just paid for my items and left. I called Buddy right away and just broke down in tears. I was so angry. How can people be so rude? I just don't get it. It seems every where I go here, people are just like that.

Now I know that I didn't laugh at the situation like I probably should have but hey, I didn't deck the guy either so that has to count for something right????

So here is to trying to make myself happier in a place that I hate. I am really trying everyone. I honestly am.

P.S. I have to add that there are things that I love about Albuquerque. Most importantly, my awesome husband whom I have missed so desperately the past 2 years and especially the past year. I would follow him anywhere just so we could be together.

I am grateful for a cousin whom I have a renewed relationship with. Without her, I don't know what I would do. She has been an angel in my life since I moved back here. I love her dearly.

I also LOVE my house. It is perfect for our family. It is so beautiful. LOVE IT!!!

I also love that we are closer to our "biological" families. I have missed living so close and being able to just drive in a few hours to see my nieces and nephews who have all been such an important part of my life. Not to mention being closer to my mama!!!!! *I say biological because I feel that I left a family (some biological, but most not) back in Omaha when we left.*