IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!

Garrison has been very sick these last 3 days. He has been running a 103-104 fever and vomiting. I took him to the doctor and they diagnosed him with strep throat. He has not moved from the couch and has done nothing but sleep or just lay there and stare. He finally asked for some Cheetos tonight. That is the first thing he has eaten since Sunday Morning. He has been very emotional and has cried over very simple things like his legs aching or wanting water and not ice chips.

Tonight, he asked me if he was going to die. I immediately came over to him and told him no. He said "because children don't die." Here is where I get confused. I told him "yes, Garrison, some children do die but you are not one of them." He immediately began bawling. "But why?" he asked. "Because Jesus misses them and wants them to come and live with Him." I replied. He then asked if grown ups died and I said they did. He then wanted to know if I was going to die. I told him I wasn't going anywhere. He cried and cried.

The confusion comes with this thought. Did I say the right thing? Should I have told him little kids don't die, just to take that fear away from him? But then what if the unthinkable happens and someone we know and love dies as a child? What then?

I tell people all of the time that he has the mentality of a 4 year old. That is true. However, he does not have the mentality of a typical 4 year old. I don't want to hear how people spoke of death with their 3, 4, and 5 year old children. I want to scream to them "IT'S NOT THE SAME!" His brain doesn't work the same as a "typical" child. I cannot explain things to him the same way I do to my other children or the same way you do to yours. IT'S NOT THE SAME!!

How do I know how to say things to him? I feel like I am letting him down. I feel like I am not even close to the mother that this amazing angel needs or deserves. Sometimes I have to sit back and just feel helpless. And before you say it, IT'S NOT THE SAME as you do with your teenagers, or your 10 year old or with your 5 year old. It is very different then any situation you have with your children.

Children with Autism process things differently than everyone else. I don't speak his language. I try. I try so hard but sometimes I just don't feel like I am living up to the mother he was intended to have. I will keep trying. I love this little boy more than I can even understand or comprehend. He is such a special spirit and I cannot even look at his hand, or cheek, or toes without smiling. He lights up my life each and every day, in a very different way than my daughters do. So I am just going to keep praying that I am getting through to him and I am helping him. I cannot and will not let him down.

In a nut shell

Have you ever left somewhere and felt a piece of you stayed behind. I am not talking about a thing, or even a person necessarily but a place. For some, it could be a house, or a park, or, perhaps in my dad's case, a baseball stadium. For me it is an amazing city named Omaha. I haven't lived here for 2 years and yet, as I pull into my old neighborhood, I feel like I am home. It is not something that I can easily explain to anyone. It is a feeling of completeness. Some say I am obsessed with it. I think in many ways I perhaps am. But, in return, I am 100% okay with that fact. My neighbors are more like family to me than just "friends." They mean the world to me. Sometimes I think it is so difficult to come and visit because the thought of having to leave is incredibly overwhelming to me. I hope and pray that someday, my husband and I will get to move back here to this amazing place. If not, I am just so grateful that for a short time, my Heavenly Father allowed me to live here and meet neighbors who have changed my life forever.

Life

So yes it has been several months since I have posted. I must say that not only has life been beyond crazy for our family, but I have also been doing a lot more facebooking than blogging. I will try very hard to do better though. I know not everyone is interested in facebook.

We have had a very busy summer! We have traveled a lot. We have also been swimming almost every single day. We love having the pool in our neighborhood. Plus it has been so hot and humid here in Texas that it has provided us with some much needed cooling down.

Kimbo FINALLY got her cast off. Her broken arm was a very severe break and made for quite a long journey. Most kids get their cast off in 4-6 weeks. Kimbo had hers on for 3 months. It has been a long haul but she has been one heck of a trooper! She got it off the day before we left for vacation so that was a huge bonus.

The girls are getting excited for school to start. Garrison will not be excited to find out that it starts in a month. He loves the summer and swimming and wii and sleeping etc...

Well, that is it for now because unfortunately, my daily chores are calling my name. More updates coming soon..I promise.

Kimbo playing softball

My shirt says Softball Mom and the O in mom is a softball!

Today was Kimbo's very first softball game. She did great!! She played catcher and was FANTASTIC at it! She was great at hustling to get the ball when it went past her and was always on her toes ready for whatever came at her. Honestly, we couldn't be more proud of her.

Just Jewelry Seminar

I just got back from our Just Jewelry seminar in Ohio. It was AMAZING!!! They showed us the new spring/summer line that will be available on March 2 and it is incredible!!! I cannot wait to get out there and sell it like crazy! The two co-owners Virgina and Nicole, asked me to speak about relationships. I was very honored that they asked me and loved having the opportunity to do it! We also got to go to the headquarters and see their offices and where they pack up and process our orders. Here are some photos!

Record Snow

So it started snowing around 2 a.m this morning. By the time we woke up, we had at least 2 inches. I was shocked they didn't cancel school. Mainly because it was just supposed to get worse and quite frankly anything above 1/2 an inch around Texas and people panic. My friend called me at 10:30 and said she was going to pick her kids up and offered to pick mine up as well..it was getting worse and worse. So they came home around 10:30 and had a ball. It has snowed all day, non stop. Literally no break in the snowfall whatsoever. I just went outside and we have 8.5 inches in the front yard. Still going strong and it is not expected to stop until 2 or 3 tomorrow morning. We are loving it. Makes me miss Nebraska even more than I already do (if that is possible). Here are some pictures of the snow around 6 inches...

Finally!!!

Kitchen (looking from the family room)

Family room (looking from the wall where the fireplace and T.V are)

Kitchen (door is pantry. Looking from the wall where the sink is)

I am so excited! For the first time in our married life (12 years) we are painting walls in our home. We have never lived somewhere where we thought we would be there long enough to invest the money it costs to paint a home. We plan on being here for at least 4 years (hopefully longer) so we jumped in head first and started painting. We have our kitchen complete and now we have started on our family room. It is taking some time as we do it at night but it is getting done! I am loving it!

Poor Garrison and Naddie

Garrison has had a very rough couple of weeks. Last week, he was sick for 4 days straight (Saturday-Tuesday). He had a bad cold that had him coughing like crazy. He felt just awful. Then this week, he suffered all weekend with an ear infection. He missed school on Monday and then came home after about 30 minutes on Tuesday. His antibiotics have finally kicked in so he is doing much better. Here is hoping that nothing will happen this weekend.

Yesterday, Natalie broke one of snowglobes. I was so sad. It was a Kermit the Frog one that Rachel had given me for Christmas 2 years ago. I got it all cleaned up and put all of the broken glass into a box that is in our room. Well, I should have been smarter and taken that box out to the garage because somehow she thought it would be a good idea to stand on it and get to more of my snowglobes. So she cut a pretty good size chunk out of her big toe. I have never seen something bleed for so long. It wasn't the kind of cut that the doctor would be able to stitch so we opted not to take her in. Buddy super glued it shut (that is what he always does when he slices himself) and the bleeding finally stopped.

Other than that, life has been good. The days have been warmer and we have loved that. This has been the coldest winter in Texas for many, many, years. We even hit negative temperatures with the wind chill this year. Of course it is the year we move here! Better than what Omaha and Flagstaff have had to endure! We are gearing up for Garrison's birthday next week. Holy cow, he will be 11. Almost more than I can handle. I hate that my kids have to grow up. Just not fair!!

Our Story in a Nutshell...

Rachel's teacher has a friend who wrote a children's book. She is looking for a children's charity to donate the proceeds to. Heather (Rachel's teacher) called me and suggest I send her our family's story about Garrison. So I did. Here is what I wrote....


Hello Susan! My name is Heather Hopkins and Heather Rogers is my daughters teacher. Heather told me about your book and that you were looking for a charity to perhaps donate some of the proceeds to. She suggested I contact you and share our story.

We have a beautiful 10 year old son Garrison who is Autistic. Garrison was diagnosed with autism on December 2 of 2003. In 2003, there was not nearly as much known about Autism as there is now. It was not nearly as common. That day changed our lives forever. Not just the lives of my husband and I but also the rest of children as well. Garrison is not considered high functioning nor is he on the most severe end. He has made some great progress with a lot of hard work and great people who have blessed our lives. I personally think it would be a wonderful thing to find a cure for Autism however, my #1 concern is raising awareness.

I cannot tell you how many battles I have had to fight, how many judging looks and comments I have had to endure as people have observed my son. The staring is ridiculous. You would think that he had a third eye the way people stare at him as he jumps up and down and squeals repeatedly. The laughing sometimes is more than I can bare. I desperately want people to learn more about this disease that now affects 1 in 110 children. That is an astounding number.

Autism Speaks is probably the most well known and respected program out there. I would love for you to do your own personal research and see just how devastating the lack of knowledge can be to a family who lives with Autism.

I adore my son. I love him just the way he is. I often tell people that if God himself came down and offered to take the Autism away, I wouldn't let Him because there is nothing wrong with my son. Garrison is perfect just the way that he is. I am grateful for his 3 younger sisters, 2 of which are old enough to understand their brothers differences. They are incredibly protective of him and help him with everything from brushing his teeth, to making sure he makes it to his classroom at school, to calming him down in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

Susan, I am a very blessed mom to have been entrusted with such an angelic little boy. I want anyone and everyone to know how amazing these children are. I hope that Autism is something you will consider learning more about. Thanks for listening.

Heather Hopkins

Life

It would seem that I am a little too involved in Facebook to ever post on here but I promise to be better this year. I personally feel this is a great way to "journal" for my family. I really need to be better. As far as events in our lives, nothing too crazy. I am working very hard on my jewelry business. I LOVE selling this product..I just need to get some parties going. The owners of the company actually sent me an email and asked me if I would be willing to participate in our annual seminar in February! Wow!!! I am so excited to do that. Now I just need to ensure that I can earn enough money to go! So if ANYONE out there is willing to have a party or catalog party for me this month, I would GREATLY appreciate it. Plus..you earn DOUBLE the hostess benefits if you host a party in January! So it is a win/win for all involved.

Kids are doing great! They love it here and I pretty much love anywhere that is not NM so we are all good. Buddy likes his job and we love our house. We are excited to paint!! We have never painted a house before because quite frankly we haven't lived anywhere long enough to do so! So we are excited to paint over these next few weeks. I promise that I will post pictures when I am done! I don't want everyone to see my house until it is where I want it to be!

So here is to 2010!! New possiblilities and great things coming I am sure!!!