So I hate to post anything negative or sad but as this is as close to a journal as I am currently using, I figure this is the best place to put down my thoughts and feelings. First of all, I am beyond excited to be a family again. There are no words to express the excitement that I feel to be able to sleep next to my husband every night and to make normal dinners that consist of more substance than hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Just knowing that my amazing husband whom I adore and love deeply, will be coming through that front door in just a few hours is just about enough to make my heart do flips. I LOVE this big beautiful home that we have been so blessed to get. It is so much more than I can even express on this blog. It just blows my mind every day that we are able to live in it.
I am still struggling and cannot quite seem to shake this "depression" that I have fallen into. I miss my friends in Omaha so very much. I desperately miss my neighbors and those of you that have meant so much to me. Everything is different here. The people are different, the scenery is different and the entire overall atmosphere is different. Now I understand that my happiness is determined by me and only me. Where we live is what we make it out to be but I personally need some time to just miss everything. I look around this amazing house, and see box, after box and just feel completely overwhelmed at facing it alone. I want to be able to pick up the phone and call Tena or Heidi or Dianne, or Tricia and say HELP!!!!
Now I know that as soon as I make friends, things will be better and brighter. I am certain that the kids starting school on the 13th will make all of the difference in the world in respect to my sanity. I guess I am just feeling lonely and participating in my own little pity party. So... don't call or write if you don't want to listen to me bawl like a baby. I'm down but not out. I will pick myself up and get through this. My sweet husband is so afraid to even sneeze wrong for fear that I will either break down crying or rip his head off. I appreciate his patience. It's like walking on pins and needles around here.
So...I will close with telling all my dear ones in Omaha that I miss you. Go roll in that beautiful green grass for me. Please don't forget me. I feel rather "left behind" while you all continue on with your lives and friendships that I so long to be a part of forever. I'm 1000 miles away but still here.
I'm off to make meatloaf for dinner. I cannot wait to see my hubby. As Garrison would say.."no more taking daddy to big airplane." HALLELUJAH!!!!
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9 comments:
I want to cry for you. I'm so sorry! You are amazing! I love you! I say cry as much as you need to. We moved a year and a half ago only 20 minutes from our other house and I was a mess. I still haven't made new friends. I drive to my old friends. I'm so sad for you!!! (although, I love our neighbors!)
It always seems to take me at least a year to get re-acclimated. Crying and feeling sad are all part of the transition so do it as much as needed. It will get better, I promise. We miss you too. It will be especially hard in the next few weeks when the brithday girls are gone.
Big hugs! Moving is definitely hard and unpacking sure stinks. I wish I could come help but I got a dumb ole job that I need to keep paying the bills. Okay so it is the best job I can have if I have to have a job. I know you will make some awesome friends in no time at all. You have a personality that makes people want to be your friend. And meatoaf with the family is a great blessing with no stinky airplane. Garrison has that right for sure!
I say go ahead and cry, I moved 4 years ago and have had 5 wards in those 4yrs and I can say that transition is tough, on anyone. Just know that we are all here for you whenever, wherever. Not having a schedule yet is rough so yes it will be easier when the kids are in school, just know that your feelings are normal and eventually(sorry, just not tomorrow)things will work themselves out. Being a family again rocks!!!
Oh Heather… I can sympathize with what you are going through!!!! It is so hard to move and start everything all over. It always takes me an entire year to feel “NORMAL” in a new place. I know that you are going to do great and friendships will come fast because of the wonderful way about you. We sure miss you here in Omaha and are hoping all the best for you and your family!!!
We miss you to Heather. Hang in there. Lindsey Cottrell
Of COURSE I have time to see you. :) I need your number, though, so I can call you when I'm there! It will be a short trip (in Friday, out Sunday) but we will definitely make time! Will you email me your phone number? nicholemaria@gmail.com
Hope tomorrow is better! Miss you!
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